Sunday, September 26, 2010
I spent most of Saturday in a funk for various reasons. I tried some shopping therapy, which sort of helped, but not completely. I went out with JM and AR at night, hoping that would help too, but even then I was feeling out of it and distant, emotionally bruised at times as well. Oddly, what has been making me feel better is listening repeatedly on my iPod to Katy Perry's song "Teenage Dream." I'm still trying to figure out why. Certainly it could simply be the beat of the song. It encourages easy dancing and has an uplifting pulse running through it. It could also be the timbre. I'm often affected by songs that has the singer reach a particular pitch, but usually they're ballads, not pop songs. Maybe it's the lyrics, although in general they're nothing special here. Still, I do find some sections surprisingly meaningful, like "Let’s go all the way tonight / No regrets, just love / We can dance until we die / You and I / We’ll be young forever." Or in another part: "So take a chance / And don’t ever look back / Don’t ever look back." Admittedly I'm finding meaning because of my emotional funk. I'm seeking answers to understand why I feel like I do, and the lyrics, beat, and timbre all combine to encourage me to want to do something more, to invigorate myself with greater opportunities of discovery, to fight the negativity and darkness that creeps in sometimes. This is my life. I need to live it. Okay, sure, the song is all about a girl meeting the perfect guy, and I admit there's an element of desire in me that pines for that same feeling of innocence, that sensation of sheer bliss that comes with passion and desire, connecting completely with someone who makes you feel whole, giving yourself completely to them because you trust them. I do desire that, partly because I missed out on that during my own teenage years, partly because I've been burned so many times, partly because I find my youth passing me by and the potential for those opportunities are becoming less and less likely to happen. The song is sugar pop fantasy, and yet it has this strange subtle power to drive me to want more for myself. "Don't ever look back"...for sure. I would post the video directly here, but EMI has prohibited embedding, so here's the link to it on YouTube.